"Maybe we'll get lucky and you'll be next."

He doesn't think before saying it, just lashes out with words the way he really fucking yearns to with his hands.

Shit.

"Cas. Dude, that was chump change compared to this. I swear."

Because considering how hard it was coming back the first time, considering how hard it still is, every goddamn day --

This time he's not gonna want to come back. He can tell already.

And Sam ain't even here to say goodbye.