thursdays_angel (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thursdays_angel) wrote2011-11-02 07:31 pm
thursdays_angel) wrote2011-11-02 07:31 pm
All Saint's Day
He finds Dean in the park.
Uriel had said something about business to attend to elsewhere, leaving Castiel on his own. Dean has been tested. The town has been saved. Samhain has been stopped, though the Seal that his was his summoning lies in pieces.
And Heaven's best hope is sitting alone on a park bench watching children jump and shriek and chase each other across the grass.
Castiel doesn't question whether or not his presence will be welcome -- he imagines it most certainly will not. But after the events of last night, Dean is owed some explanations.
If he will hear them.
Castiel appears silently on the neighboring bench and waits for acknowledgement.
Uriel had said something about business to attend to elsewhere, leaving Castiel on his own. Dean has been tested. The town has been saved. Samhain has been stopped, though the Seal that his was his summoning lies in pieces.
And Heaven's best hope is sitting alone on a park bench watching children jump and shriek and chase each other across the grass.
Castiel doesn't question whether or not his presence will be welcome -- he imagines it most certainly will not. But after the events of last night, Dean is owed some explanations.
If he will hear them.
Castiel appears silently on the neighboring bench and waits for acknowledgement.
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That doesn't mean that he's gonna look away from the kids, though.
Let the angelic bastard sweat.
Or not.
"If you say 'I told you so', I'm gonna punch you."
Screw what'll happen to his hand. That ain't important.
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Children at play can be rather mesmerizing -- so much energy and grace and joy all bound up together. Castiel watches them intently for a moment before slightly shaking his head.
"That is not why I came."
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Well. Dean would give it his damnedest -- hah, damnedest -- whether or not it actually worked.
"Because I, for one, am shocked."
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Dean could try. He might actually injure the vessel momentarily.
But there will be no lasting damage.
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Maybe on a different day.
Maybe if he hadn't seen Sam exorcise a frickin' high-powered demon like Samhain -- with his mind.
Yeah.
Maybe then a punch would be just the thing Dean needs.
"Nah."
His smirk is mirthless.
"Pretty sure I'm screwed on that one for all time."
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He is unsure of so much, lately.
Castiel turns his attention more fully onto Dean, now that he is a bit more certain that the man simply isn't going to get up and walk away.
"I came because I felt that you were owed certain explanations."
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At this point Dean actually turns to look at Castiel head-on.
"Don't tell me they've been teachin' you how to play 'Twenty Questions'."
Because right now it's sure seeming that way.
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"It is not a game that I am familiar with. Nor one with which I would think you would have patience."
He's pretty sure, though, that Dean is being facetious.
It can be hard to tell. Sometimes talking to Dean is almost as confusing as talking to Raven.
"It is about the orders that were given to us. Regarding this town, this Seal."
There has been no mandate to keep what they were doing here a secret. Not now when all has been said and done.
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Dean kinda sounds like he'd like to scoff, but he doesn't have anywhere near the energy.
"So what is it you want to say about your orders? That they were shitty? Yeah, tell me something I don't know."
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"Our orders were not to stop the summoning of Samhain."
"They were to do as you told us."
And didn't Uriel complain about it constantly every moment they were out of Zachariah's earshot.
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"Why the fuck would they give you orders like that?"
Distantly, Dean feels like he should have sounded less like a scalded cat when he asked that question.
But --
Well.
What's a guy to do when he hears that kind of bullshit?
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(It's what Meg would do. Explain things.)
He hopes he's calculated correctly.
"It was a test. To see how you would perform under battlefield conditions, as it were."
Under fire and for high stakes.
Castiel contemplates his hands, folded on his lap for a moment.
"And I believe it was a test for us as well. To see how effectively we would follow you."
"But that is conjecture on my part."
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"A test?"
What the everloving fuck?
(Hey, at least this time his voice is low and growly instead of squeaking. He'll take it. Or he will when he thinks about this again.
Later.)
"People were dying and this was a test?"
One he failed.
Obviously.
(As if he could do anything but.)
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Good, innocent people who sometimes do nothing more than be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"I do not like it any more than you do."
Dean can believe that or not as he chooses.
"But this town remains. By your choice."
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He can already tell that his temper ain't gonna last long around this guy.
But today --
"Yeah."
He shakes his head.
"Yeah. Sure it does."
And all it cost was learning Sam's . . .
Sam's . . .
Well.
Maybe in a couple years he'll be sure it was worth the cost.
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And other things he hadn't shared with Uriel. There may not be many secrets among angels (Castiel feels he is keeping more than most) but one's prayers are one's own.
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It ain't like he means to stare, but --
Huh.
"Guess that's good to know."
He pulls his dropped jaw up from where it's . . . you know . . . dropped.
"And you couldn't just say that?"
At any point during this fucked up week, even?
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"No. I could not influence your decision. The choice had to be yours."
Uriel had come close to stepping over that line. Troublingly so. Castiel tells himself that it is just his brother's way. Uriel always did have a hot head for an angel.
Castiel turns half of his attention back to the comotion on the playground.
"These people are my Father's creations. Each one of them a work of art. It does not gladden me to see them destroyed."
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"Doesn't mean you're overjoyed to see 'em saved, either."
Weird how that works, huh?
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"The town was saved and Samhain was stopped. But we did lose the Seal. That cannot be ignored."
He leans forward a little, elbows resting on his knees, hands clasps.
"This was a test. And I honestly do not know if you passed or failed." He studies his hands. "At one time, I would have been able to provide that answer with complete certainty. Now, I do not know which choice would have been right and which would have been wrong."
When did it all get so confusing?
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It keeps him from saying anything stupid.
(Oh, wait.)
"Well, Cas. If I liked you better, I'd say we could all be failures together. But, uh."
He doesn't.
"Guess today you're just shit out of luck."
Too bad they both are, really.
So it goes.
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It's never much of a laugh -- a huff of breath with a small half smile. But it can't really be mistaken for anything else.
"Perhaps I am."
Between Dean, an Anna who is listening to angels, watchful superiors, a partnership with Uriel, his own weaknesses, AND an apocalypse on the horizon?
As he understands the phrase, he can't say it's inaccurate.
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"Okay, now it's just getting weird."
Bonding with stick-up-his-ass angel dude?
Not in the cards.
Really.
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Just the fact that they find themselves in agreement?
Certainly unusual, if nothing else.
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"Oh, don't even tell me that you can't guess."
The laugh gave it away.
Dean is now traumatized.
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If you know Castiel, you might get the distinct impression that he is teasing.
But you'd have to know him well.
Maybe.
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Which is why he just sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What'd really make me feel better right now is if you'd leave me alone."
Even ten minutes alone would be fabulous, though leaving him alone forever'd be the best option available.
Still.
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Sometimes Dean is very confusing, and sometimes he is easy to read. Like now.
And at any rate, Castiel needs to report back to Zachariah. Their work only pauses for short times -- it never really stops.
And by the time Dean finishes his sentence, the other bench is empty again.
Just as well. This is a better note than they usually end on.